I'm the Grammatical Barney Fife

Dear Diary,

Effective December 17th at 3:20 PM I instituted a "Bad Grammar & Punctuation" policy.

The policy is simple: use good/decent grammar and punctuation when you e-mail me.  If you e-mail me and I determine your e-mail has violated my policy then I will not respond to you for at least 30 minutes.

The genesis for this policy was a poorly written e-mail to me from someone in the office.  This person constantly writes grammatically horrific e-mails and I am tired of it.  Not only are you asking me to do something, but you are making me do work to understand what work it is that you want me to do.

For your viewing pleasure, Diary, I will post verbatim the e-mail that set me off:

??? No I beez more confused---Is there any other codes in any of the other fields from the initial email otherwise I am thinking we need to get on the phone with them and find out how we can best organize checking what is going on (if possible) in the data---for delq accounts (it may not be because of the way it is gathered)

Is this a sentence or a paragraph?  I can't tell because there is not one period (.) in it to help me understand.  I must have read this e-mail at least three times before I finally understood what this person was talking about.

I better go Diary.  Ironically, I "literally" just got an e-mail from this very person.  I need to go start his timer.

Please note that this policy is not effective for anyone that controls:

• my employment status
• my salary, or
• my year-end bonus (if applicable)

.