What am I Doing?

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


Dear Diary,

Yesterday I shared with you how I was hating my job because of a 10-K table that I helped to produce on behalf of our Accounting department.  I took some notes about why Accounting sucks.

1) Using the word "ASAP."  I have never heard or seen anyone use ASAP more frequently than people from accounting departments.  Bankrupt [...BEEP...] had two people that were notorious for using ASAP in every one of their e-mails.  In fact, they used it so much that it is forever tainted in my mind.  "ASAP" means nothing to me anymore.

What infuriates me even more is when they try to spin "ASAP" other ways.  For example, "if I could have the report sooner than later."  Listen people!  You'll get the report as soon as it is done.  I'm a big boy, I understand what a 10-K is and I understand what the SEC can do to us if we don't file on time.

2) E-mail Priority.  Accounting folks, for some reason, love, love, lo-o-o-ove to set their e-mail priority levels to the highest setting possible.  So during the month of February my e-mail inbox was littered with red exclamation marks (!).

Listen bean counters.  I get it.  I know you have to close the books and I know you need to get a report to management, but you don't need to set my inbox on fire with the red exclamation marks.  I've received much more important e-mails from Senior Managers trying to sell billions of dollars worth of mortgage bonds with no "ASAP" or exclamation marks.  But yet when "T.Lam" needs to reconcile $20 of interest I get exclamation marks followed with "Call me ASAP!"

3) Excel.  During the making of my 10-K table I was working closely with [...BEEP's...] Vice President of Loan and Investor Accounting.  During the month we sent back and forth I don't know how many different Excel files.  At one point I told the VP to unhide one of my worksheets so that I would not have to resend a file.

Silence.  I asked, "Did you find it?"  She responded, "Not yet.  How do you unhide a sheet?" ... [THUD!].  I fell out of my chair.

How on earth can the VP of Accounting not know how to unhide an Excel sheet?  I get it, Diary, that you don't know how, but put this into context.

People like me and folks in Accounting work pretty much with nothing but Excel.  In my opinion, at bare minimum she should know how to hide/unhide a worksheet.  Now, because she can't figure it out, I am even more furious because I have to teach someone how to use Excel.  Don't come at me with your "ASAPs" and exclamation marks if you can't even unhide a freakin' worksheet!

I've got more Diary, but I need to stop I'm getting agitated again.  Besides, I've practically written two pages worth of an entry this morning.  You must be exhausted.  We'll continue this tomorrow.

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