No, Try Not, Do or Do Not...There Is No Try

Dear Diary,

It appears that the niceties between my boss and I are starting to fade.  Yesterday I sent an e-mail to my boss' secretary asking her for some copies of minutes from various meetings.

I am trying to get the second quarter Sarbanes-Oxley ("SOX") testing done before I leave because I think that would be nice.  The testing is not due until mid-August so I probably could blow it off if I tried.  I feel guilty doing that so I am working as hard as I can to get it done.

Check out the e-mail conversations below.  What would your reaction be?

From: Mattrix
To: Boss' Secretary
CC: Boss

Hello.  I'm trying to get the 2Q08 SOX testing done before I leave.  Can you help me get copies of the documents listed below related to Q2 2008?

1) Audit Committee Meeting Agenda
2) IAR Meeting Notes
3) Minutes of Audit Committee

An hour later I get an e-mail back from my boss.

From: Boss
To: Mattrix

Your use of the word "trying" makes me uncomfortable.  Can you make a commitment?  Thanks.

Immediately I did not like this e-mail.  Who talks like that?  Normal people say things like, "I am trying to get such and such done."  That's how people talk.  I am not Robin Hood.  If I were I would have said, "If it were pleasing in thy lady's eyes, please allow me to commit myself to the completion of me lady's kingdom of reports."

If I am going to bust my butt getting SOX testing done for this defunct department then I do not deserve to be talked to like this.  So with great pleasure I fired back an e-mail to my boss.

From: Mattrix
To: Boss

"Trying" refers to the fact that I am dependent on others for their reports and tests.  If I get everything I need in time I'll get it done before I leave.

I am not going down for this because "Firestarter," "Cryor," and "Wall Knocker" do not give me their crap on time.

Who does she think she is with this "trying" bit, Yoda?
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