Personnel Change Request

Dear Diary,

 

I need to change someones nickname.  And because you're such a H.R. apologist, I know I have to fill out some stupid form you have.

 

[Diary hands Mattrix Form NN-19]

 

Personnel Change Request Form

 

Requested by: Mattrix

Effective Date: Immediately! (8/23/07)

 

Old Nickname: EMO(hio)

New Nickname: Firestarter

 

Reason: I've been working at [...BEEP...] for almost three months now and I believe that I have misnamed "EMO(hio)."  Based upon new evidence yesterday, I believe that she is more of a fire starter than a death-seeking "Ohio-ian."

 

[Signed Mattrix]

 

So, "EMO(hio)" came to me yesterday and said, "You reported a bunch of wrong numbers yesterday."  I was confused and asked why.  She then told me that a model that I ran miscalculated the payment change dates for a bunch of our Option ARM loans.  The Board and Senior Management are very interested in these loans because they are concerned about delinquencies.

 

I told her to cool her jets and to look a little closer before we raise our "bad data flag."  She went off did a bunch of research all day and came back and said, "Yep.  We need to tell [our boss] that she has wrong numbers."  She continued, "And if we don't tell her soon, she'll be mad if she's blind-sided later when you re-run the reports."

 

Okay, at this point I have had enough.  Not only is she trying to start a fire and be the one that gets the glory of spotting it, but now she is trying to put some (if not all) the onus on me.  Instantly, as she continues to speak her sentences, which I understood turned into "blah, blah, blah" because I was all done listening.  I told her I would look at the model again and let her know if I get the same "bad data" results.

 

Remember my other post a while ago?  She is cancer and I believe it.

 

What's even funnier to me is that this is her model we're talking about and she is the one that showed me how to run it for quarter-end.  It reminds me of the saying, "If you point your finger at someone, remember there are 3 more pointing at you."

 

Boom! Goes the dynamite.