Parental Advisory
Dear Diary,
That was wrong! I feel dirty and violated; and it's all because of an e-mail.
My bosses secretary shared at our last staff meeting that her husband did really well in a competition the other weekend. Being the new guy, I had no idea what type of competition that might have been. She said she had pictures and could send some to me and I said, "Sure. That'd be great."
Her e-mail said:
Here are a couple pics from [so-and-so's] NPC contest. He was amazing!!
I have no clue what "NPC" stands for, so I'm thinking these pictures are going to be a cool action shot of him... I don't know... diving, catching, driving... who knows.
BOOM!
I'm blinded with a baby oil-slicked, muscle machine smiling and looking straight (and perhaps longingly) into my eyes!Furiously, I scrambled to close the picture, but I couldn't. For some reason my hands no longer knew how to operate a mouse. Implementing "Plan B", I pick up my computer monitor and start turning it around. Stuff is now flying everywhere because I'm knocking over practically everything on my desk.
A few seconds later I manage to close the picture. My office is a disaster now, but it was 100% worth it. I would rather explain the disaster on my desk ("I was dusting") than having to explain why I'm looking at an oiled muscle man doing a half-curtsy.
Needless to say, I now know what "NPC" stands for... "Nipples, Pecks and Cheeks."
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