What am I Doing?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

McDonald's Monopoly

Dear Diary,

Where are your pages reserved for confessions?  I need to confess that I have an addiction to McDonald's Monopoly game.  I don't know why, but I am obsessed and convinced that I can win this game; despite the fact that the odds are against me.

I did not realize I had a problem until yesterday.

Diary: What happened, my son that made you realize you had a problem?

I was looking in trash cans at McDonald's looking for game pieces that people had thrown away.

Diary: Nasty!  I mean...go on, my son.

In my defense, the cup I found was on the top of the trash.  It had two game pieces on it and one of them was an instant win.  I've got a free breakfast sandwich coming my way.

Diary: Congratulations, but you still went digging through the trash.

Well, yes I did, but I would like to refer you to episode 92 of Seinfeld, "The Gymnast."  The particular scene I am referring to is George telling Jerry how he was caught eating an ├ęclair discarded by his girlfriend's mother.  My argument is the same as George's.  The ├ęclair (in my case, the cup) was on top of the trash, and not buried in the trash.

Diary: Did your hand go inside the trash can?

Yes, but barely.

Diary: Doesn't matter.  Your hand went in the trash can.  Therefore, I never want you to touch me again unless you wash your hands first.  Who knows what else you've touched before you write your entries.

Oh, c'mon, man!  Whose side are you on?  I thought we were tight?

Diary: We were tight, until I found out you were a dumpster diving dork looking for game pieces to a stupid game that you'll never win.

[Says, Whiling Running Away and Crying]
You know, Diary, sometimes your words can be very hurtful.

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