Entry #4 (12/9/2003)

Dear Diary,

Listen to this...

This just in! Scantrons sweep schools. College campuses ask: Is it here to stay? This and more on tonight's edition of "My Neighbor Heidi and I."

I think that will be my first venture into the television and radio industry. A mini-series all about Scantrons and how they work. What do you think Diary? Will it work? Will people want to watch something about this? I'm a bit nervous that it will not make it though. Television is tough these days. Yet, I can't help but wonder how many people out there don't know about Scantrons. Here's my plot:

A neighbor of mine, let's call her Heidi, is sitting around at work talking to a co-worker...she'll be called....ummm...Kathryn. Yes, Kathryn. That'll work just fine. I'll have them casually talking and discussing how Heidi's final went. That will then be a perfect way for Heidi to transition into a discussion about how a Scantron works. Yes, you heard me right. How a Scantron works. It's information that everyone has got to know about, right? After all, some people might not understand that Scantrons work by bubbling in your answer, turning it in, and then feeding it through a computer for processing. And what better forum to share this knowledge than a television mini-series. I'm gonna be so rich from this. Scantrons are going to be so huge because of all the publicity my mini-series will generate. Everyone and every school is going to want to use these things.

Well, I gotta go now. I've got to go start writing the script for my pilot episode. I think this is my lottery ticket out of the working world. Scantrons...you and me were made for each other. Oh by the way, my little mini-series idea is actually based on real life people, whom were actually discussing Scantrons and how they work. Between you and me, having to hear that conversation has scarred me and I can never take that moment back...ever. I estimate it sucked approximately 1.37 years off my total lifespan.