What am I Doing?

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Ewww -- Ugly Naked

Dear Diary,

Please don't be mad with me.  It has been a week since the incident happened, but it has taken up until now for me to muster up the courage to share this with you.  I can't help but feel, though, that it would be in my best interest to file this in my "Dark Secrets" folder and keep this to myself, but I know that I can trust you.  However, if I even hear the slightest amount of laughter coming from you I will slam you closed and will shove you in the drawer.  Got it?

Okay, so here's what happened.  I'm going to do my best to keep this rated G.  Recently, I needed to use the -- ahem -- "Little Analysts Room."  After entering the restroom and choosing a stall, I sat down and -- STOP IT!  I'm warning you Diary.  Wipe that smirk off your book cover!

Any ways, after I sat down (with pants around my ankles) I looked up and was suddenly encapsulated with fear.  I'm sure I looked like some poor critter crossing the street at night with a car barreling around the corner heading straight for it.  This was all happening within milliseconds, but I realized that someone was staring right at me.  I could not believe it.  Could I really have forgotten to close the stall door?  Why me?  And why at a new job?

As I was starting to scream and reach for the door I noticed that the figure staring at me started to move too.  It wasn't until then that I realized that everything was okay.  There was no one staring at me.  The problem is that the stall doors here at [...BEEP...] are black and very glossy.  What I saw was my own reflection in the stall door.

I don't think I'm going to like this Diary.  I appreciate having nicely decorated offices, but what I don't need is the ability to see myself -- ahem -- going #2.  That's ugly naked.

1 comment:

Given said...

There are just so many things wrong with this post.